Manifesto

Candidate for the position of Student President

Image for Zak Parsons

Zak Parsons

Choose Abs, Choose Anarchism

Introduction

I'm Zak, I'm 6'2, 85KG and here are my PBs:

-Deadlift, 190

-Bench, 75

-Squat, 125

Not that it matters, but cardio:

-1 Mile, 6:10

-5K, 21:02

10K, 44:37

What are your three priorities for the year?

-Set up an AUSA secret police force, known as the Knowledge Gathering Bureau, or 'KGB' for short

-Add an amendment to the AUSA constitution that bans the practice of slavery (have a look, there's actually nothing in there, and no one can really argue with that can they?)

-Rigging future elections so that AUSA can appear democratic, even though I will retain full control and assume the title of emperor

What unique skill/knowledge can you bring to the role to stand out from the other candidates? 

I've bagged 33 Munros (that one's actually not a lie)

What do you think is the biggest issue that students are facing at the moment and how do you plan to tackle it?        

No doubt, the biggest issue facing AUSA is me. I will 100% be a terrible student president and am by far the least qualified person for the role. Would be funny if you voted for me though.